7.6.03
something realli cool [take note of the pun, heh] happened. i opened the freezer and found two cherry garcias!!! hahahha...mygosh! and i asked around, my dad, my mum, my sis...nobody bought them!! so..maybe it's the maid's but it's her off day today, so cant ask her. so.....hehehe....was so delighted. dont think its my maid's. why shd she buy ben and jerry's lor...it's a gift from heaven maybe. heheheh.. anyway me and my sis ate both of them already. heh. so...no more cherry garcias. so funky. to think that day i wanted to eat with yashira. and stupid mobil didnt sell. hmmpf. so...actualli i wrote this here for one sole reason: to make yashira jealous. hehehhehehe...im just so malicious. :D
go read the diary as soon as you read this - abt the esplanade thing. desperate for an answer. am so excited. heh.
going to my grandma's house soon. mum didnt allow me to go cos she wants me to study for Os. but oh well, i told her that i could manage my time...effective management... so im still going. heh. chinese is so boring anyway. oh yeah, going there so i can pray too..hehhe...pray that the stupid qns chia spotted will come out tmr!!
dad's probably trading in another phone. yay~ think it's my mum's. there's a new toy to play with again. heh.
to all those reading this except yash: you shouldnt be here! go study now! *sticks tongue out* :p [how juvenile...]
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found westlife and bsb cds. so my sister knew where they were kept all along. hmmph...she shd have said so earlier and spare me the trouble.
os tmr. all the best to everyone taking it. how i wish the paper 1 qn would just be set on either neighbourliness or dieting or idols. pls let it not be on the idiotic library thingy. totally detest it.
the horoscope spells trouble for the coming week. i shall not believe in horoscopes for once. heh. oh well, at least for monday. ;) life is a swift and terrible race
Show me the meaning of being lonely
So many words for the broken heart
It's hard to see in a crimson love
So hard to breathe
Walk with me, and maybe
Nights of light so soon become
Wild and free I could feel the sun
Your every wish will be done
They tell me..
Show me the meaning of being lonely
Is this the feeling I need to walk with
Tell me why I can't be there where you are
Theres something missing in my heart
den* stepped on your garbage at
Around the corner
I have a friend,
In this great city
that has no end,
Yet the days go by
and weeks rush on,
And before I know
it, a year is gone.
And I never see my
old friends face,
For life is a swift
and terrible race,
He knows I like him
just as well,
As in the days when
I rang his bell.
And he rang mine if,
we were younger then,
And now we are busy,
tired men.
Tired of playing a
foolish game,
Tired of trying to
make a name.
"Tomorrow" I say! "I
will call on Jim"
"Just to show that
I'm thinking of him."
But tomorrow comes
and tomorrow goes,
And distance between
us grows and grows.
Around the corner!
yet miles away,
"Here's a telegram
sir" "Jim died today."
And that's what we
get and deserve in the
end.
Around the corner, a
vanished friend.
Remember to always say what you mean.
If you love or like
someone, tell them.
Don't be afraid to express yourself. Reach out and
tell someone what they mean to you. Because when
you decide that it
is the right time it might be too late.
Seize the day. Never have regrets. And most
importantly, stay
close to your friends and family, for they have
helped make you
the person that you are today.
den* stepped on your garbage at
6.6.03
bbrrr...my hands are frozen. aircon temperature something like the one at temp block. lazy to go increase the temp.
did two hours of chinese. writing and writing all the vocabulary. dazed out. my vision is blurred now. cant wait for os to be over. two more days of mugging and the worst will be over. yay.
dreamt of her again. whoa. dunno how many times this week already.
off to fetch my sis now. then to eat chicken chop. yay! oh yea, and to buy pens for the os. all my pens conked off at the same time. :(
hope i wont be blogging anymore today. cos i want to study. dear comp, pls dont tempt me.
even if the whole world were to desert you, i'd still be standing by for you.
dont wanna lose you now...
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my eyelids are giving way but i still forced myself to stay awake in order to come online. because i promised. heh. honoured? slept in the bus on my way home. almost forgot to get down. that shows how long ive been forcing myself to stay awake - since this afternoon!
mum's b'day today. went out for dinner. went back to jurong area again. whoa. twice in a day. almost wanted to burst out and tell my parents that i just went there this afternoon. hahaha. oh well, i couldnt control and told my sis. surprisingly she didnt even say anything! cool. and she's so sweet. she got some ppl to make this gel thingy in a bottle with my irc nick written on the bottle. its for fundraising i think. custom made sia. haha. so nice of her. im such a pathetic sister compared to her. yikes! i shall do my best to get her sth nx time. instead of thinking of buying for other ppl all the time.
cant believe she went out with her. i have so much to say and i feel so frustrated but i shant vent it here at my blog. it is pure unfairness and biasness! choosing ppl u like over friends. in fact its not that simple. its ten times worse. perhaps im petty. [dad just said over dinner that women are petty and mum said that that's what make women women. i so agree.] abit too much lor. 2nd time already.
no tix. shitass. mrs clara tan didnt realli make the effort to get them i tell you. she's just too busy as acting vp and all the sars thingy. she neglected her duty as the hod of creative arts! i protest!! but then again, now ive got an extra 15 dollars to spend. heh. oh. minus 5 after today's lunch.
am so scared. i dont want history to repeat itself. dont want to lose everything all over again. to fall again. what can i do to make you happy?
den* stepped on your garbage at
5.6.03
sch was perfect today, except a few occasional times when i got pretty pissed. after days of emotional distress, a day of peace is much appreciated.
didnt think that the dark clouds would dissipate so quickly - with help from an outstretched hand. thank you.
i told someone this secret of mine today - eh, its true okay, i didnt say it for fun. the embarrassing truth. urgh. now three ppl noe, she, she and me. *sigh*
daph called me just now. she's so sweet. i was commenting on this person in the bus who bought bread from breadtalk. the bag's translucent la, so could see all the bread. and at that time i was hungry so i just said that the bread was making me drool. furthermore he sat opposite us. daph called me just now from breadtalk and asked if i wanted anything. mygosh. she's so nice. i was merely passing a comment. to think she remembered me. hahaha. oh well, realli appreciate her kindness. but i declined her offer aniwae.
hope that she can go for our nx icecream date. somehow when it concerns food she isnt interested. strange.
hmmz..come to think of it everybody seemed to be so sweet today. or is it just that my mood improved? no leh. everyone's so nice today.
dresscode dresscode. it just irritates me. and we'd better get the tix. after going thru all the trouble. not much actually. but i hate ppl to make empty promises. and i hate disappointments. tmr's so-called the last day of sch. getting back report bks. wonder wad gal has to say this time...haha. my best friend.
supposed to be mugging now. will bedtime just come quickly? escapism
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4.6.03
mood fluctuated again. wth. felt pretty bad becos i kinda talked to shraddha in a damn irritated tone. sorry!! [though i doubt she'll read this..yash help me tell her, hehe] mood swings are realli interesting. they come and go when they like. and there isnt a reason for them. funky.
found out a couple of things and thought through them. i think its best to leave them as they are and try to detach myself from everything. it isnt going to help if i keep harping on it anyway. must learn to live a free life. hurhur, as if i can do it..
nth to say actually. blogging for the sake of blogging. frisbee was fun. and more challenging than the previous time. hahah. oh well. thks to mei xiu's appearance. it was still as nice though. think ms tay looks chioer from far. for once ive seen her this close. haha. oh well, she's still as cute. terri thought i'd bid for her volleyball shirt. sorry to disappoint her but im not that mad abt her. hehehe. seems like so many other ppl are far worse than i am.
im trying to just type in whatever crap happened today. blogging for the sake of blogging. so boring.
den* stepped on your garbage at
3.6.03
tears have merely washed away one night's confusion and agony. everything else remains unchanged - the scars of the truth. i am still doubtful.
i thought i lost my nametag again. freaked me out, started blaming myself for my carelessness. i took out the stuff from my pocket, everything else was there except the nametag. felt everywhere in the pocket but there was still no nametag. was sure that i didnt drop it in the bus because i took extra care that i looked at my seat before getting down. left the house. retraced the path i took from the busstop. walked and looked. was hungry and tired but still had to make the effort. end of the road. still no nametag. turned back. saw my maid from afar waving and shouting. was pretty convinced she found the nametag. in total i walked three stretches of that blardee long road. took me a total of half an hr for that distance times three. all i felt though was a sense of resignation. i dropped the nametag on the floor while i was taking out my wallet from my pocket. i didnt say a word but was just disappointed with myself. why does it seem that im always in a daze and cant seem to concentrate. everything's hazy and in a blur. sick and tired. to make things worse, the idiotic golden retriever of that dumb first house had to bark at me on my trip there and back. can it not bark so loudly at least?! it freaks ppl out alright? and jy, i noe u adore grs and even tried getting near that dog but im sorri. THAT one scares me all the time...
shall sort my chinese file out today. it's the goal for the day. i must, i must, i must. filing doesnt help for chinese but chia refuses to believe it. i have gotten along fine without a file for the past 5 months. so what's the big deal.
mood's going like a rollercoaster nowadays. beware. take cover. i wanna play frisbee
den* stepped on your garbage at
2.6.03
im so exhausted; both physically and mentally. i have no courage to go on because ive witnessed too much, and all i feel like doing now is to cover my eyes and shun away. things are so draining that i was compelled into taking an afternoon nap, something i havent done for quite some time and is definitely not a habit. no work done. days seem to stretch longer and life is more dreary than usual.
there's no way that all these is going to interfere with my studies. no way. esp for the imminent Os. it's either the stress or the heat that has driven me here. had a splitting headache this afternoon. will the hols just come quickly? i need some private time to sort all these complicated thoughts out. they keep replaying on and on in my head without having any solutions to them and all i can do is wait for them to gradually drift away as time goes by. there isnt time to sit down and think one by one, the hows and whys of everything. its sth like the tide of time pushing you on each day, with plentiful chores and tasks to complete that you have no choice but to flow along, you cant stop because the tide is too strong. way too strong. breathlessness then suffocation. perhaps i need a life buoy - to swim back to the shore, free from the complications of life. i want to lay on the sands, to watch the gulls glide by, to watch the morning sunrise. with a friend or two.
i've just blindfolded myself - have chosen to believe what i want to believe and to leave everything else behind. cast away.
den* stepped on your garbage at
1.6.03
aiks. my bladder's full but im just too lazy to go to the loo. i was even too lazy to walk to the phone so i used my hp to call. lazy lazy lazy....
downloaded lots of songs today. so happy! :D sang like crazy. sis complained cos the songs take up space on the comp. she didnt have a chance to complain abt my singing though, cos i did it when she wasnt at home. hehehex. lalala...played piano like crazy also. while msging daphne. sth realli dumb happened - i mistook her for dorothy..hahahaha...was like msging and msging....then what i said didnt seem to click with what she said. then i was feeling so puzzled until she mentioned f2..then i was like, "huh? you're daphne ah?!" hahaha..how stupid. msged for quite a whlie without even realising. aiks. so she called me blur. wasnt my fault la. i msged doro also mah, then i thought it was her reply. sian leh. piano was great today. enjoyed myself. think my piano's pedal is getting more obedient as the days go by...the sound effect is getting more perfect each day. when we move, dad says he'll get someone to tune the piano. finally.....after waiting so long. and the piano will be as good as new again! :D cant wait! think i'm kinda driven crazy by music lately.
there isnt dinner tonight. funky. i think this is the first time ever there isnt dinner. reason being dad bought food at 6+ and no one had the appetite nor stomach to digest any dinner at 7. he's out buying supper now. hahaha..its only 8. so im waiting for my fried rice....feel like such a huge glutton. haf been eating nonstop the entire day. lets see...what did i eat...i ate kway teow soup for breakfast, porridge for lunch, wall's icecream for dessert!!!, corn for breaktime, noodles at 6+....and fried rice later. wow wow. weekends are meant for eating arent they? hehehe. so instead of doing my work, i ended up eating. its such a joy to eat.
no one's interested in my 'effective management' seminars and courses. only doro but she insists that i give them foc. urgh. that's an insult on my talents and capabilities! hahaha. oh man, now even yash wants them free!! what has the world come to? ppl are so unsupportive of their friends. but so far, i think jy's answer was best...it was a huge "NOOOOO..." fine fine. looks like my business has to close down soon. haix. am so disappointed in you ppl. *sobz* now i know who my true friends are. ahhahaha. and the moral of the story: never venture into entrepreneurship because even your own friends will leave you in the lurch, not to mention total strangers. but then again, my effective management theory has proven to be pretty effective on my life right....ive already used myself as the guinea pig...why isnt anyone keen in it? IM SO DISAPPOINTED!!
oh boy, that was a whole load of crap.
den* stepped on your garbage at